iCarly of the Caribbean
by thewerepuppy
Summary: A fun story where the cast of iCarly replace the characters of those in Pirates of the Caribbean as part of a dream sequence. Seddie/Creddie/Whatever happens! Changed from a crossover to a normal because no POTC characters appear.
1. Prologue and Chapter 1: iFlashback

**iCarly Of The Caribbean**

**HELLO INTERNETS! I HAVEN'T WRITTEN AN iCARLY FANFIC IN JUST OVER A YEAR, BUT I HOPE THAT THIS SHINY NEW STORY WILL PERHAPS SOFTEN THE ANGRY EMAILS I GET TELLING ME TO UPDATE MORE!**

**THIS IS A FUN CROSSOVER BASICALLY SHOWING WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF THE iCARLY GANG REPLACED THE CHARACTERS IN PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL. YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEEN THE FILM TO READ ON, BUT IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT I HOPE YOU LIKE ALL THE LITTLE REFERENCES!**

**I WILL BE UPDATING REGULARLY (PROMISE!), SO LONG AS YOU GUYS REVIEW. REVIEWS ARE TO ME WHAT HAM IS TO SAM: PRETTY MUCH ESSENTIAL. I NEED TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU GUYS LIKE THE FIC IF I AM GONNA CONTINUE, SAVVY?**

**ANYHOW, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE STORY. HAVE FUN FIGURING OUT WHICH iCARLY CHARACTERS ARE PLAYING WHICH POTC CHARACTERS, IT MAY NOT BE WHO YOU EXPECT!**

**AS FOR ROMANCES…WELL, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. READ ON, ME HEARTIES, READ ON AND REVIEW!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN iCARLY, OR PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, OR JOHNNY DEPP, UNFORTUNATELY. THIS IS PURELY NON-PROFIT.**

**PROLOGUE**

"This has to be the best movie-based-on-a-theme-park-ride I have ever seen," Carly commented, captivated by the TV.

"Totally. It's even better than 'The Pukinator' movie," Sam agreed through a mouthful of chips.

Freddie shuddered. "ANYTHING is better than 'The Pukinator' movie, Sam."

"Not ANYTHING," smiled Sam. "Not your face, for example."

"Do you have to bring my face into every insult?"

"It's just so horrible, it will be imprinted in my mind for ever more."

"_Sam_…" Carly glared at her wisecracking friend.

"_Carly_," Sam replied with a grin.

"SPENCER!" someone bellowed. The three friends jumped and hurled popcorn and chips into the air in the process, as Spencer appeared without warning from behind the sofa. "Ooh, a pirate movie! Can I watch?"

"Spencer!" Freddie looked at him in shock, "What were doing behind the couch?!"

"Well…what were _you_ guys doing _not_ behind the couch, hmm?" he asked with one eyebrow raised quizzically.

"…Nevermind…" Freddie decided to quit while he was ahead.

"This isn't just ANY pirate movie," Carly informed her brother as he joined them. "It's not like the ones that weird guy at the store makes."

"Aw…" Spencer looked at his shoes, disappointed.

"It's better. It's Pirates of the Caribbean!"

"Ooh I love the Caribbean!" he cheered up. "Well, I've never actually _been_ to the Caribbean, but I believe the people of the Caribbean make the Caribbean such a wonderful place and that the Cari-"

"Stop saying Caribbean," Sam snapped. "Just watch!"

Hours later and the gang were still rooted to the spot as the credits for the third of the Pirates of the Caribbean films rolled across the screen. The movie marathon had ended, and all four of them were soundly asleep, beginning to dream…

**CHAPTER 1: iFlashback**

Freddie thought that it was brilliant being on a ship, especially considering that he was ten years old, and especially considering that he was ten years old, and especially considering that he was wearing his skull and crossbone pyjamas.

He leaned over the bow of the ship, relishing the fresh night air, and began to sing into the darkness.

"AND A YO HO HO, AND A YE HE HE, I AM A PIRATE, A PIRATE I BE!"

"Hey hey hey!" Mandy scuttled across the deck towards him. "I don't think it's such a good idea, you singing about pirates, Freddie!" she said in her over-excited manner.

"Why not?"

"Why not?! What if they heard you, Freddie, huh? The cursed pirates sail these waters, y'know. What if those cursed pirates decided to take you away, huh? It would not be good, Freddie. No sir, it would not be good!"

"FREDDIE!"

Freddie groaned as his mother appeared, marching towards them with her perpetual expression of concern.

"Freddie Benson, you come away from the edge this instant!" she ordered. "You know you're allergic to saltwater!"

"I am not!" he protested, reluctantly retreating from the bow slightly before his mother could grab him.

"Oh Freddie, you have got to be more careful! What if a shark had jumped out of the water and got you, hmm?"

"Mom, there are no sharks."

"But you don't _know_ that! Anything could have got you! Sharks, Crocodiles, Krakens…"

"…Ducks," Mandy nodded in agreement. Freddie and his mother looked at the grinning girl. "Wanna see my impression of a duck?"

"NO!" they replied quicky.

"Oh…how 'bout a pirate, then?"

"Pirates?!" a voice exclaimed from across the deck.

Mandy, Freddie and his mother turned to see the Captain approaching, and Mandy stood to attention immediately with a quick "Quack" for good measure.

Valerie, dressed in her smart attire and three=corner hat, looked at Mandy sternly. "What is this talk of pirates, Miss Valdez?" she demanded.

"Freddie was singing about them, your majesty!" she explained.

"It's _Captain_."

"Whatever you say, Emperor. Anyways, I was just telling Freddie not to sing about pirates in case some showed up or something."

Mrs. Benson looked at her son, horrified. "You were singing about _pirates_?!"

"I like pirates," Freddie muttered.

Valerie sighed deeply, "Let me tell you something about pirates, Master Benson," she said, gazing out to the blackened horizon.

A few minutes passed as she continued to remain silent, and Freddie frowned and looked at his mom, then at Mandy (who shrugged and quacked). He waved his hand in front of Valerie's expressionless face and questioned, "Er…what about pirates?"

Valerie looked at him swiftly, making him jump, "Pirates are nothing more than thieving losers, horrible creatures who only care about eating and causing chaos," she snapped. "Plus, they're icky."

Mrs. Benson nodded, "The Captain is right, Freddie, and…oymygosh…is that a _splinter_?!" she grasped Freddie's hand and went thoroughly pale at the sight of a black speck on his palm. "Oh I just knew this boat trip was a silly idea!"

"But mom, we're on a ship, not a – "

"You wait right here while I get some disinfectant spray and tweezers!" Mrs. Benson sprinted away and Freddie rolled his eyes, wiping off the speck on his pyjamas.

Valerie glanced at Mandy, who beamed at her inanely. "Why don't you…scrub the decks for a bit?" she suggested.

"Sure thing, your highness!" Mandy saluted and skittered away.

"I'm like, _totally_ serious about pirates, though, Freddie," said Valerie as she began to head back to her cabin, "if I see anybody who looks even remotely piratey, they will suffer drastic consequences."

Freddie watched as Mandy mimed several creative death sequences to drive Valerie's point home. He sighed and leaned over the bow again, his spirit low.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something in the water. He squinted at the shape as it floated closer, and his eyes widened when he realised what it was.

"A GIRL!" he spluttered, looking at Mandy.

"Ooh, someone's been learning his flashcards!" she smiled in approval.

"No, I mean in the water! THERE'S A GIRL IN THE WATER!" he yelled across the desk.

Mandy peered over the bow, "So there is. How bizarre!"

The crew rushed into action as Valerie appeared on deck, shortly followed by a rather frantic Mrs. Benson.

"Quick, get her aboard! Valerie ordered the crew, who fumbled around with ropes and an inflatable rubber ring.

Freddie was mesmerised as he looked at the girl, floating on a piece of wood, her dress trailing in the water, her wet dark hair shimmering in the moonlight.

Eventually, the crew managed to get her aboard, and they rested her on the deck, crowding around her.

"She's alive," said Valerie, shocked.

"She's only about Freddie's age!" noted Mrs. Benson, her already over-charged motherly instinct kicking up a notch. She looked at the tweezers and disinfectant spray in her hands. "I'm gonna need a bigger first aid kit!" she decided, running below deck.

"What was she doing floating around in the middle of the ocean?" asked Valerie, suspiciously.

"Ooh, ooh, I know!" Mandy shrieked, her hand raised.

"Valdez, if you say ducks, I swear – "

"Don't be silly!" Mandy giggled, "I think it has something to so with _that_."

Valerie's eyes followed the direction in which Mandy was pointing, and her mouth fell open. "O…M…G…"

There in the water, not too far from them, was what was left of a ship. Its skeletal frame was engulfed in fire as it slowly sank into the sea.

As Valerie, Mandy and the crew headed to the bow to inspect the dying vessel, Freddie slipped past them and kneeled down next to the unconscious stranger.

He brushed a strand of hair away from her pretty face, and noticed that she was wearing something around her neck. He leaned in to see what it was when, without warning, the girl sat bolt upright, spitting seawater all over her face.

"Nice…" he deadpanned, wiping off the water with his sleeve.

"What the, who the, how the," the girl looked around in panic before focussing on Freddie, "Who are you?"

"Freddie Benson," he replied, "Who are you?"

"Carly Shay," she said before turning pale and lying back down. "Nice PJs" she murmured before closing her eyes.

Freddie gazed at her, then noticed the necklace again. He gently lifted it from her neck and was shocked when he realised what it was. There, on a gold chain, hung a gold dubloon, emblazoned with a skull.

"You're a pirate…" he whispered. As Valerie came towards him, Freddie quickly hid the object up his sleeve.

"Has she said anything that isn't comatose babble yet?" she inquired.

"Nope," said Freddie quickly, "Only that her name is Carly Shay."

"Oh. Well never mind. We're gonna be heading home now."

"But aren't you worried about pirates?" Mandy asked from behind her.

"Not in the slightest," Valerie sniffed. "I believe you have a deck to scrub."

"Aye aye, El Presidente!"

The two of them departed and Mrs. Benson appeared, lugging a huge crate of medical supplies.

"The poor thing must be frozen," she said, hurriedly covering the girl with a jacket. "You know, Freddie, you'll have to look after her while I get ten blankets. It's an important responsibility for a young man."

"I know, mom," said Freddie, still transfixed as he said softly, "I'll protect you Carly."


	2. Chapter 2: iLook Stupid

**CHAPTER 2: iLook Stupid**

Freddie woke up suddenly, and sat up in his bed. He wasn't too fond of flashback dream sequences, especially since they usually played out the time he had to have a shell surgically removed from his left buttock when he was six. By his mom.

He hadn't thought about that old pirate coin in ages. He got out of bed and wandered across his room as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and opened his sock drawer. After searching through his colour-coded socks (which his mom had 'helpfully' labelled for each day of the week), he eventually spotted the gold dubloon. For a few moments he just stood there looking at it, but then he fastened it around his neck and quickly covered it with his robe as a loud knock sounded on the door.

"Freddie! Wakey wakey, cupcake!" his mom sang cheerily.

"I'm up, mom," he replied in a yawn.

"Oh good! I'm coming in."

"That's not necessary…" Mrs. Benson briskly opened the door and stepped into the room, "…and you came in anyway."

His mother beamed at him as she concealed something behind her back, "Guess what I've got!" she said excitedly.

"My self-esteem?" Freddie mumbled.

"Ta-da!"

With a flourish Mrs. Benson revealed the most hideous outfit that Freddie's eyes had ever been assaulted with. There, on a hanger, was a banana-yellow tweed suit complete with turquoise shirt and a bubblegum-pink bow tie.

All Freddie could do was gape at it until his over-excited mother couldn't take the suspense any longer. "Well? What do you think? Isn't it to die for?" she squealed.

"It's to die IN if anybody sees me wearing it!" Freddie said miserably.

"Oh nonsense!" she giggled, laying it out on his bed, "It's the height of fashion."

Freddie snorted, "Yeah, at the circus."

Mrs. Benson chose to ignore his negativity, which was fairly easy after years of practise. "It will be absolutely perfect for today's big event!" she said, smiling.

Freddie frowned and winced as she opened his curtains and flooded the room in sunlight. "Todays' whu…?"

"Oh, like you don't know!"

"I…don't know," said Freddie, looking at her as though she was speaking Latin.

"You're going to propose to Valerie!" she revealed, clapping her hands.

"What?!"

"Or Commodore Valerie, as she's about to become. Very high status Freddie, I always said you would marry a successful girl."

"But mom!" exclaimed Freddie in utter disbelief (both at the idea of marriage, and at the suit), "I'm fifteen!"

"Precisely!" Mrs. Benson hugged him tightly, "And now you will marry Commodore Valerie and live happily ever after. And I'll be living with you, of course. And you'll definitely be sleeping in separate beds, don't you worry about that."

"That's not what I'm worried abo – "

"Ooh, there's the door! Why don't you put on your handsome little suit and we'll make our way to Valerie's ceremony later, hmm? I can't wait!"

And with that she rushed out of the room leaving Freddie to sit on his bed, stunned, as he looked at the assault on the senses that his mother had left with him. "I'm going to look like a fruit cocktail," he groaned.

After knocking on the door of the Benson's household, Carly waited patiently on the steps. She noticed a weird looking statue of a cherub hanging on the wall and laughed.

"Well hello there, Mr. Goofy Nose!" she mocked quietly. She touched its stony face when, without warning, its whole head fell off in her hand. "Oh…fiddlesticks!" she said, her panic increasing as she heard Mrs. Benson approaching.

Looking around desperately, she eventually hurled it across the street, just as the door opened.

"Why hello Carly," Mrs. Benson greeted warmly, gesturing for her to come inside.

"Morning, Governess Benson," Carly smiled, ignoring the expression of pain somebody made from across the street, no doubt a result of a propelled cherub head. She hurried into the house and closed the door.

"I assume that those are my deliveries?" Mrs. Benson inquired, looking at the parcels Carly held under her arm.

"Yes, here's the dress you ordered," she passed her the clothes, and Mrs. Benson's face lit up at the sight of the beautiful silver gown.

"Oh, Commodore Valerie will love this!"

"And here's the sword you asked for," Carly passed her the weapon. "I made them both myself, I think you'll find they are of grade A standard."

Mrs. Benson nodded, "Very impressive. You know, Carly, I've always found it somewhat odd that you are able to produce both dresses and ancient-style weaponry at your workshop."

"Well, we at 'Laces and Maces' are only too happy to serve our niche audience," Carly said matter-of-factly, "We are about to expand into cake craft as well."

"Is that so?" said Mrs. Benson in fascination. "Will you be changing the name then?"

"Well, we have been considering 'Laces, Maces and Sponge Bases', but it just doesn't have the same hook…" she shrugged.

"Mom, this stupid bow tie is cutting off my air supply – oh, hi Carly!"

Freddie was already halfway down the stairs in his new suit before he noticed the visitor stood in the hallway. He turned bright red with embarrassment, but decided that he had to continue towards them and try to look as suave as possible – which was certainly a challenge.

Carly tried very hard not to laugh at Freddie, and managed to successfully disguise a chuckle as a cough as she remained polite in the Governess's presence.

"Doesn't he look handsome!" shrieked Mrs. Benson as she gathered up the dress and the sword. "We're going to see Valerie's ceremony, and then Freddie is going to – "

"MOM!" Freddie cut her off angrily.

"Oh, you're right, we'd better hurry!" she bustled them both out of the door before striding up the path with her son in tow.

"Good day, Miss Shay," Freddie said, inwardly cursing his accidental rhyme while taking a lingering look at her.

"Good day, Freddie," smiled Carly, watching him go until he was out of sight.


End file.
